4/19/13

                                                                                                                                           4/19/13
                                                                                                                                         Miss you


Mom and Dad
     Sorry I didn't get to email this week.  The computers are wacky at times.  Dad, this language is so hard.  I'm thrown to extremes everyday because sometimes it makes me feel so smart but most times it makes me feel like a 6 year old.  I feel like most things in my life I could practice for a couple minutes and be fairly successful at it, but this Latvian is kicking me right in my ego.  I feel like a child all day long trying to pick out words I know but it is so mind exhausting.  I get frustrated so easily because even just simple rules are mind boggling at times.  My teachers are all so great and when they notice me getting flustered, they pull me aside and talk to me.  My Sister Teacher pulled me out last night and said something that really hit hard.  She said that the Baltic mission Latvian speaking is rated one of the hardest missions in the world and that they send missionaries there who have maybe a little bit more pride that the Lord would want them to have.  He sent me to this mission to teach me what to do when things get hard.  I know this mission call was for me because the Lord wants me to struggle so that I can appreciate and relate to others when they go through things that seem so hard and impossible to accomplish.  These three weeks have taught me that nothing is impossible when you rely on the Lord.  I have (and  still am) learned that the hard way.  There are times, like the start of this letter, where I've felt so discouraged and helpless and SO dumb but I know that Heavenly Father will always comfort you if that's what you seek.  I've learned that the comfort from God comes on His time, not mine.  Which is really hard by the way to come to terms with.  I get so down on myself sometimes because I want to be a nice, useful, shiny tool in the Lord's hands with my Latvian and at this point I feel like a hand-me-down, rusty, broken tool.  I told my teacher (Josh Thompson) about these feelings that I have and he told me something so powerful.  He said the man that learns Latvian on his own like a stud but refuses to rely on the Lord isn't even half the teacher than the man who speaks poor Latvian but learned to rely on the Lord and recognizes his knowledge (regardless of how big or small that is) comes from Heavenly Father's grace alone.
     Mom and Dad I'm trying so hard to learn this crazy language but your prayers are soooooooooo needed.  I know now that as much as I've liked to learn things my way and wing it, I know that's not the way my Father in Heaven would have me live my life.  He's teaching me to be humble and to
recognize that I'm less than Dust without His help in my life...And I'm starting to love that.  It's harder than anything I've ever done before, but it's touched my heart everyday to rely on the Lord.  It's brought me closer to him in ways I'd never be if I didn't choose to serve a mission.  At times the language really gets me down but I'm not going anywhere.  I'd never give up on the Lord's work.  He called me to succeed, not fail.  I believe with all my heart that I need to be here and that these 24 months will shape my eternity.  I love you so much and I'm forever grateful for the love and support I feel through your prayers.  I felt like I needed to send this letter so I hope you receive the reason.  I'll see you soon!  Es Tevi Milu

                                             -Elder Webb

P.S.  I said "Mom and Dad" but you can share this with anyone you'd like.  Thanks for everything.